A.HYPOCalvin CandeeCalvinHe follows a person @NiceGuyEddie

: , age 20, (“”) is a junior at the Georgetown University, a Jesuit-run university in Washington DC. He’s home in Austin, Texas doing remote learning because of COVID pandemic. Twitter profile @TeutonicKnightsKickAss with 1,300 followers. In the last four years Twitter has wiped 6 of his posts for memes he created that were harassing, sexist or racist, though he’s never been subject to Terms of Use violations for reposting content that might be false, spurious or otherwise “fake news” despite twitter’s promise to police such content.

on Twitter and his in a community of sorts through Reddit, Instagram, some listervs, etc. and Youtube posters. NiceGuyEddie comments under a Youtube post of a news report on protests over George Floyd, Breonna Taylor etc. “It’s okay that they are killing who they need to kill, but then the cops will be emboldened to come after us, decent folks. Murder us in our sleep, take our guns and pride! Now that is a tasty burger.” Calvin knows that the Big Kahuna Burger slogan is code.

While on his campus system remotely, Calvin starts Tweeting with embedded fair use (no copyright issue) images showing various existing and experimental brands of .380, 9mm and .22 handguns and explosives and improvised explosive devices (IEDs) which can pass through airport scanners undetected, yet are “great for both home and personal defense and for sporting around the likes of liberal media,” per Calvin. “But are suitable when “y’all be clubbin’” with the peeps, trying to blend in till it’s time for them, and the po-po to learn to keep a wide berth or else. #TastyBurger.” He tweets embedded fair use video of African Americans marching, interspersed with fires and vandalism and one particular pick of a convenience store window being broken, looters streaming in and out food and other items, but also a figure spray-painting “Brought to you by #TastyBurger” then with the figure saying “minorities love themselves those hot Cheetos. So we freed some up for them.”

When Jungle Julia Machai researches #TastyBurger” for a report on left and rightwing anarchists, Calvin tweets “Hey Jungle Julia, don’t fear the Reaper. Ur a disgrace and should resign. Watch out for your oversize Victoria’s Secret stuff in the mail.” The following day on Instagram and YouTube he posts some phone video of him heckling protesters as he is talking to someone off camera named “Patriot X” who describes himself as a “former FedEx employee” revealing clear inside information about shipping protocols, schedules, bomb sniffing dogs at airports etc. used by FedEx, UPS and the USPS for package delivery.

Jungle Julia’s producers notify the FBI, local police. She’s not tagged in any of his tweets and Twitter only issues an email to Calvin that perhaps he should block Jungle Julia. Twitter says things are delicate since the President and some senators have been talking about trying to repeal Section 230 of the CDA but they have the authority to close Calvin next time and/or label them false, etc.

However, Calvin’s classmates are alarmed and send the info to Dr. Django, the Dean of Students at Georgetown.  Dr Django notifies Calvin that he should think about a social media diet and wants a conference immediately, as Calvin’s classmates and teachers are fearful. Calvin refuses to meet with he and Provost on Zoom. To show he’s not kidding, Django summarily suspends Calvin for a year over safety concerns and notifies Calvin’s parents. Meanwhile Calvin’s deleting tweets and so is Nice Guy Eddie away; the former is gleefully posting on Facebook about “hidden surprises in the mail and on the streets…”

You are on Twitter’s legal team in its amazing San Francisco headquarters on Market Street and of course you all are the only people not working from home. On behalf of FBI BATF, Austin Tx, Bergstrom County Airports Authority Police, the U.S. Attorney for the Middle District of California has emailed and delivered a letter based on “an extreme impact on public safety.” The office is demanding that Twitter unilaterally close Calvin’s account to prevent more tweets, turn over any records of deleted tweets of his and his communications Nice Guy Eddie and any communication either have had with Twitter. The directive promises that an injunction request in federal court to close the account and bar Calvin from Twitter, along with subpoenas for information, might be coming. On the elevator six feet apart, your hipster boss, who isn’t a lawyer but has been around lawyers, says “Hey, walk with me to our Twitter yoga studio/ping pong room and explain some stuff to me, giving me cases and concepts where possible to help me understand this situation. She asks:

1.”Is what the government wants called a ‘prior restraint?’ What is that, and if it is, I thought prior restraints were prohibited by the First Amendment, period, end of story? So why not just ignore the government’s demands on that basis?”

2.”OK, if I send you, virtually,  to US District Court here to tell the government lawyers to go to hell, and they turn around and try to get an injunction to force us to close the account and give them what they want,  blah blah, what kind of legal test will the federal judge apply to make a determination about this little jerk’s rants? I thought he was totally protected by the First Amendment?

3. “Okay, why can’t this kid and his parents just sue Georgetown for messing with his ‘free speech rights’ under the First Amendment?