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peer review for an essay outline

Essay topic:

Leo Tolstoy (a Russian novelist) wrote that all happy families are alike, but that each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Taking into account your own experience and the two articles we read this week, write an essay that explains what makes a family happy or unhappy.

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  • How strong is the thesis? Is it arguable and focused?
  • How strong are the topic sentences?
  • How good is the evidence? Is there any other evidence that might be useful?
  • Does the essay correctly respond to the question on the prompt and meet all the requirements?


Thesis: Family is the foundation of our society so it is imperative that each member should invest time and effort on how to preserve the relationships among each other.

Paragraph 1

Topic sentence: The most essential ingredient of a happy family is a robust communication. It is the door to many beautiful memories in a typical family.

Evidence: Everyone should give respect especially when communicating with each other. An example from the book that we read is, “Mom, do you think we could dressed up for dinner one of these days?”(Soto, 22).

Analysis: Establishing the habit of communicating with respect must start with the parents. The children usually mimic what they see from their parents so it is vital for them to model it.

Paragraph 2

Topic sentence: In order to establish healthy relationships among each family member everyone should have the notion of how important a family is.

Evidence: This is an excerpt from one of the readings given. “They hopped into bed with kisses and woke to glasses of fresh orange juice, and to a father sitting before his morning coffee while the mother buttered his toast” (Soto, 22).

Analysis: The scenario that was mentioned above is important because that is one way of showing how they care for each other.

Paragraph 3

Topic sentence: Each family should focus on how the relationship is going among them.

Evidence: “The age of marriage is going up, the rate of marriage is falling, and almost half of all marriages fail” (Carbone & Cahn, 77).

Analysis: Drawbacks of failed marriages affect mostly the offspring. It has a negative impact on their emotional stability in the long run.


Summary of thesis and main points: The fundamental aspects of a happy family are robust communication, strong relationships, and mutual respect. They all play a key importance for the family to overcome the obstacles that will come along their way.

So what? Why is this essay important? As I mentioned earlier, the family is the main institution of the society. The success of today’s families will impact the lifestyle of the next generation.

Below is my Thesis Outline.

Outline for Writing a Thesis


A. Family as an institution.

B. How to become an exemplary family?

C. Importance of the “ideals” of a picture-perfect family.


A. Paragraph 1

1. Communication is the key.

2. Proper ways to communicate in the family.

3. Set goals!

B. Paragraph 2

1. Spend quality time with each other.

2. Plan outdoors/indoors activities.

3. Implement your goals.

C. Paragraph 3

1. Learn to prioritize the important matters.

2. Work on the essentials.

3. Make it a habit.


A. Why is family the foundation of the society?

B. Explain all the key points mentioned in the body of the paragraph.

C. The basis on how to become an ideal family.

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