Roles in the family
What is your role in your family of origin? Does that legacy affect your current functioning among peers and kin as an adult? Re: Topic 5 DQ 2 Everyone plays a particular role within the family (Ratcliff, 2014). These roles have an impact on the relationships we develop later in life and how we see ourselves in relation to them. My role in my family of origin as a child was hero. I cared deeply for my family and just wanted us to be happy and connected to each other like the family in “The Cosby Show.” My parents had problems in their marriage mainly due to my dad’s alcohol use. They had a lot of arguments about his poor decision of chosing alcohol over the needs of his family. I was always seen as mature and responsible in the eyes of my parents. They both depended on me to help my younger siblings with homework, walk them to the store and even keep tabs on the friends my older brother associated with. They came to me to vent about their problems. I somewhat felt guilty because I listened instead of telling them to talk to each other. The role of hero was not a role I wanted as a young person, it is the role that I ended up in. My siblings and I were impacted in different ways. I took on the role of hero while my siblings took on other roles of scapegoat and lost child. This role does still affect how I relate to my relatives and others as an adult. I do not feel overwhelmed in this role as an adult because I have set boundaries around what I choose to deal with and not deal with in relation to my friends and family. Having this role as a child has helped me to maintain self worth and determination as an adult. Ratclif, S. 2014. Family of Origin Roles. American Counseling Association. Retrieved from https://www.counseling.org/news/aca-blogs/aca-member-blogs/aca-member- blogs/2014/05/12/stuck-in-that-blasted-family-of-origin-role My response: Good morning Sherri, Miracle Hardy 2 posts Re: Topic 5 DQ 2 I am the oldest sibling and took on the second mother type of role. I was responsible for tending to my younger siblings when my parent was unable to. I was raised by my grandmother up until age 12, then moved in with my aunt who had 5 kids of her own at the time. There was a 6-year difference between me and her oldest. I looked after them; getting them from school, making sure they ate and got dressed. I think my role then very much does influence my interactions with friends and family now. I am still kind of a mother bear, even though I do not have children of my own. I like looking out for people, making sure people’s needs are met even if that means sacrificing some of my own sometimes. I know that is not a good thing but it’s what I do. I actually enjoy helping people. I get a great satisfaction in doing so and being the one people count on. That is kind of how I got into the field. My response: Good morning Miracle Loujan Downs 1 posts Re: Topic 5 DQ 2 Uniquely, my sister and I have the same role of a united front, which is to be a rock for one another so we can break this existing, un-healthy cycle in our family. She is my half-sister and share the same father and we were born in the same year. My father is an alcoholic, my mother has a difficult to manage severe mental illness, and my sister’s mother consistently relapses with her substance use disorder. Previously, my sister wanted to control the situation by trying to communicate with our parents and be supportive however she could. She felt that was the “right” or best thing to do. I was distant from both my parents and her mom, because I know that constantly using drugs or drinking 20hrs out of the day, the brain is not functioning normal and I didn’t want to focus my energy on that. This statement rings so clear to me: “As the use becomes increasingly important and central to the person’s life, it is inevitable that other social relationships will suffer.”(Stevens, Smith, 2012, p.132). She would get mad at me saying I didn’t care and I was the one causing damage, but now, she fully understands and only wishes she could get back her time and tears. We made a promise to each other to do our best to create a healthier family for our children. We never expected perfection by any means but we both are firm on working together to get our kids on a different path than how she and I grew up. It highly affects the current functioning among peers and other family members for my sister and I but we completely understand how complicated family relationships can be, why people remain in unhealthy situations, and why it is so challenging to cut ties. One thing she and I have both learned and can agree on is that we have the opportunity to be a change but we have had to burn some bridges. Other family members have conditions or have never been assessed to know how extensive the problem is. Stevens, P., & Smith, R. (2012). Substance abuse counseling: Theory and practice (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson. My response: Good morning Loujan
