Once you have been assigned a partner, give them feedback. Write a healthy paragraph (or the equivalent in note form):
- How strong is the thesis? Is it arguable and focused?
- How strong are the topic sentences?
- How good is the evidence? Is there any other evidence that might be useful?
- Does the essay correctly respond to the question on the prompt and meet all the requirements?
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Thesis: All unhappy families are unhappy in different ways because the people in those families depend too much on the others, while all happy families are alike because they are sensitive to what is going on around them but most of all, know exactly what they are looking for in their spouses or children.
Topic sentence: As social norms change throughout the years, men and women grow increasingly further away from each other, and do not allow themselves to look past the social norms to what they really want.
Evidence (include quotation or summary and citation): In “Marriage Markets,” Carbone and Cahn mention that “At the top, there are more successful men seeking to pair with a smaller pool of similarly successful women” (81).
Why is the evidence important? (Analysis): According to this quote, as women become increasingly similar to one another with respect to the traditional qualities that men looked for in women, men have not changed the ways things they look for in women, so they just think the pool is getting smaller. However, actually, they should be looking for traits different from each other because everyone has different ideas about what their ideal man or woman is like.
Topic sentence: The traits that people look for in a partner change not just within one community, but also within a single person’s life as well.
Evidence (include quotation or summary and citation): My own imaginations about my “ideal woman”-type has changed a lot over the years. When I was younger, I wanted to date someone extremely beautiful; but as I grew older, I wanted a woman who could embrace my flaws and help me grow as a man. Granted, these types changed a lot in between as well, switching back and forth.
Why is the evidence important? (Analysis): This evidence/analysis is important because it shows how important it is to be able to identify what I want in someone, as these are not just different from person to person but are different from time to time depending on my own circumstances.
Topic sentence: It is the parents’ jobs to be able to allow their children to do what they love doing but also have to limit them as the responsible adult figures in their lives.
Evidence (include quotation or summary and citation): In “Looking for Work,” Soto writes that “I went inside the house, turned on the television, and was about to sit down with a glass of Kool-Aid when Mom shooed me outside” (23).
Why is the evidence important? (Analysis): This evidence/analysis is important because it shows that although Soto’s mother realized that Soto loved to watch American families on TV, she also knew that it was important for him to be able to carry out those ideals into his own actions, and shooed him outside so that he could act on his dreams.
Summary of thesis and main points: Unlike unhappy families, happy families know what they want from other people and are sensitive about those things
So what? Why is this essay important? So, this essay is important to show that the happiness of a family is dependent on everyone, especially parents and other adult figures.